I'm Still Here
by loonygirl22
Summary: You’ve wined and dined with the wealthy and the illustrious. Yet, you’re at home, on a Friday night, when all of the prospect business partners and possible lovers come out. And you’re with a little two year old girl. Onesided BL, LP


_**A/N: Yes, I am still alive! This is the first time I'll venture to a non-HP fic so please bear with me. Hello, One Tree Hill fans! If you like Harry Potter too just click on my name and enjoy your time with my stories. Thank you! Lots of love all around!**_

_**On with you then…**_

* * *

**I'm Still Here**

_I found the pieces in my hand  
They were always there  
It just took some time to for me understand  
You gave me words I just can't say  
So if nothing else  
I'll just hold on while you drift away_

You're all alone.

It's Friday night and you're here, in your huge apartment all alone.

Well, not exactly.

The fire from the fireplace lights up and warms the living room. Staring into it makes you fuzzy inside. But you know that's not enough to comfort you.

You hear a cry from the other room. You get up and leave the comfort and security the fire brings you to check on her. When you get inside the room, you see her staring up at you.

Your presence calms her down.

She looks up at you with those big beautiful blue eyes.

You smile. You're beautiful, you say. She smiles at you and raises her hands for you to carry her.

You never can resist her.

You sway her to the tune you're currently humming. As she lays her head on your shoulder, you think of the times when you were not happy around her.

You can't think of any. Again, you smile.

You feel that her breathing is even and you know she's back in dreamland. You lay her on your bed once more. You gently pushed stray blond hair from her eyes.

You love her, with all of your heart. But then again, you think of her father.

You smile, a rueful smile.

_Cities grow  
Rivers flow  
Where you are, I'll never know  
But I'm still here  
If you were right and I was wrong  
Why are you the one who's gone_

Jealousy does bring out the monster in you.

He loved you. He really did.

And you did too.

Times like these, watching her sleep, you feel or rather relive all of those memories and emotions you once felt. Some of them, you still feel.

We were young, you reason. But you know, deep down, that doesn't matter. You loved him. You were together. But he cheated on you, with your best friend.

That hurt. It hurt a lot.

He said that he loved you and that he was the one for you, Brooke Davis.

You still loved him. So you took him back. Trusted him again.

But then, he kissed your best friend. When they both thought they weren't going to make it out alive.

Jealousy got the best of you.

You knew, deep down, he didn't mean it. But you didn't listen. He loved you, he really did.

But you ruined it.

_Seeing the ashes in my heart  
The smile the widest  
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart  
I tried to wear another face  
Just to make you proud  
Just to make you put me in my place_

You've been trying to hide all of those feelings inside.

You see them together, the love of your life and your best friend. They have been together since you let him go. Since he let you go.

But you stay happy for them.

You truly are, at times.

But in times like these, when you're all alone—_you're not alone, _a voice says— you think of the times when you were so bitter.

You couldn't even count how many times those were.

You tried to date other people. People who were just as rich and famous. You partied every night after working for your fashion label. You were invited to every socialite party you could think of. You were—are popular, _Clothes Over Bros_ was—and still is—a hit.

You smile and laugh. You've wined and dined with the wealthy and the illustrious.

Yet, you're at home, on a Friday night, when all of the prospect business partners and possibly lovers come out. And you're with a little two-year-old girl.

You wouldn't have had it any other way.

_Maybe tonight  
It's gonna be alright  
I will get better  
Maybe today  
It's gonna be okay  
I will remember_

_I held the pieces of my soul  
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole  
When I saw you yesterday  
But you didn't noticed  
And you just walked away_

You told him how you felt.

In one drunken night, you told him. You've always thought of the 'what if you told' him scenario. There were two endings to that imagination. One, you most wanted and two, you'd rather not think that.

You've always thought it would be romantic. Like in old movies or cheesy soap operas on TV. But you wouldn't have had imagined you'd be incapacitated when you finally told him. Technically, told him again.

You were all celebrating Haley's new job. Everyone was at ease with each other, drinking like there was no tomorrow. Everything was going fine, like the way you hoped.

Then Peyton said she had to go. Her boss was having a fit in her office, she said. You were really tipsy at the time Peyton reached for you and told you that she was going to take you home before she went to the office.

You said you still didn't want to go home and that she should go ahead. You were a big girl now, you told her. She smiled and told Lucas to take you home when "the big girl wants to take a nap". Then she hugged you and everyone else. But she kissed him and whispered something in his ear. Before it made you cringe. It made you want to put acid in your eyes—this thought made you laugh but still some part of the hyperbole was true.

The night went on and everyone was heading home. True to his word, he walked you to your apartment, which was just a few blocks away.

You swayed as you walked down the sidewalk that he held your arm for support. That made your skin tingle. Just like before.

"I love the night," you slurred as you held on to him.

"It is beautiful out" was his reply.

"I love Naley, they're cute!" you said, still not knowing why you did.

"Yeah, have to agree on that one," he laughed.

"I love Peyton. She's my best friend in the whole world." You say indicating how big the world is with your hands. "I want her to be happy. So happy"

"Yeah, me too," he said quietly. You know he was smiling. It made you want to vomit.

"I love you," you said, knowing that tears were going to fall any second from the intensity of what you're feeling. All of the alcohol in your blood is gone now.

"I love you too, Brooke," he said, facing you. You were already at your doorstep.

"Not like how I want you to," you said looking strait at his blue eyes.

"Brooke…" he started.

"I love you, Lucas. I never stopped loving you. I'm still here, Lucas. The Brooke you loved." In your head that sounded so cliché, so used but you don't care.

"Brooke, I love Peyton," he simply said as if it was the only answer in the world.

You stood there waiting for him to make choice number one. But he didn't. He kissed you cheek and said goodbye. He went on his way. And that was that.

You went inside and once the door closed, your knees couldn't stand it and gave way.

You were left there with a bruise and a broken heart.

_Cities grow  
Rivers flow  
Where you are, I'll never know  
But I'm still here  
If you were right and I was wrong  
Why are you the one who's gone  
And I'm still here  
The lights go out, the bridges burn  
Once you're gone, you can't return  
I'm still here  
Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway  
But I'm still here_

Years have past since that day.

But you still feel the pain. The next day, he treated you like he always did. It was like nothing happened. That was better for you, you thought. It was the start of your healing.

The doorbell rings and you stand up to answer it. You greet little Anna's parents as they enter your house. Peyton hugs you and whispers "Thanks, Brooke".

You smile at her, a real genuine smile. You say no problem and anytime.

It was their third wedding anniversary and you babysat for them, on a Friday night, when you usually go out and do whatever you wanted to.

But you stayed and babysat your godchild. You turn to Lucas, who is now carrying little Anna in his arms. You kiss him on the cheek and lead them out.

You get back inside and look around. This big apartment is now empty.

You're all alone again.

You still smiled. It was just not meant to be, you say to no one in particular.

You're all alone.

But you know, deep down inside, you're still here.

_I'm still here, Lucas_

You're still here, for him. And in a way, even if it's not the way you wanted, he's still there for you.

For the first time in a long time, you truly accepted it.

You don't feel alone anymore.

* * *

_**I'm Still Here by Vertical Horizon**_

_**A/N: So what did you think? Did I do well in the angst/drama department? This is my first time to write a songfic and a second person POV fic. I really hope you liked it. Please review. Thank you for reading!**_


End file.
